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13 January 2009 @ 07:16 pm
3 weeks.

No rings, no missed calls. A text from Coley on NYE, and a heartbreaking round of coffee with Mel.

That's all my life amounts too.

I haven't felt this alone since my Mimma passed away. Back then, I was so indignant. So angry. Everyone was leaving me but I could not understand why. I felt like I deserved more from everyone. More than abandonment, more than pain. I may not have gotten more but I held onto the notion that it was mine to have.

Now, my tune is different.

I use to think the fault lay at the feet of others. Yet, in the wake of being tossed aside by the person I trusted most, I realize it was me all along. I was never enough. Good enough, strong enough, enough of whatever anyone needed. So they all left, marching off to a brighter horizon.

I think of my favorite short story. I am the child left behind. Only the moral is different. It wasn't because someone had to be left, but because no one should have to shoulder the weight of the worthless.
Feelin': indescribablequiet